guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
