But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize