What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
