it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
