I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize