how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
vagina is talking i cant
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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