Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
