Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
