Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
