I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
