If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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