I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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