How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
