So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
