Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
