So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
