is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
