I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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