So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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