the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
