fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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