And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
