My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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