even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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