Welp...herpes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
