brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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