ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
