If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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