I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
