I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
