oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
