areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize