so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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