Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
