we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
