My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
