So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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