Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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