party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
