if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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