i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
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