I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
