So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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