there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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