just tell him i said nine months
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
