I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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