She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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