This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
