I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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