I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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