it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
