He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
