does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
