She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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