i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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