sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
