how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
