I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
